Some Jokes

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."
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Scene: Husband and Wife in court getting a divorce.
The problem was who should get custody of the child????

Wife jumped up and said:
"Your Honor! I brought the child into this world with pain
and labor so it should be in my custody."

The judge turns to Husband and says
"What do you have to say in your defense?"

The husband sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose.

"Your Honor. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a
Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it?
the machine's or mine?"
****

Yeh sunke...Wife replied :
"Judge sahib...bartan mera...dudh bhi mera...
aur usme dahi jamane ke liye 2 bunde daalne se dahi bana
tu fir wo dahi kiska..?
mera ya do bund dalane vale ka"

Husband replied :
"Typewriter mein kagaz maine dala, keys daba-daba kar
mehnat maine ki, fir chithi kiski? typewriter ki ya meri?"

Frustrated Judge (getting mad):
"Abay saale agar tu chithi haath se hi likh leta to yahan par custody ki naubat hi na aati"