Sharing Bed

Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"

"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk.

"Whatever, whatever you shay."

So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.

"Ahh," says Santa, "Now we can get some sleep at last."

As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.

"Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says Banta.

"There's somebody in my bed too!" says Santa.

"Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the beds!" says Banta.

They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually Santa throws Banta on the floor.

"ALL RIGHT!!" Santa shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed."

"You're lucky," says Banta, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired to fight any more."

"Well, never mind," says Santa, "Why don't you just come and share my bed. Let's get some sleep round here."

Sardar Jokes 3

Garry Kasporav & Sardarji Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he
would like to play chess to kill time.

Banta : 'Oye Gar®y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion'

Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'

Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'

Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.

Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....

Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

*********************************************************
Sardarji & Telugu One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......

Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why?

Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.

*********************************************************
Banta Singh and Santa Singh tired with the mobile communication, decided to use the conventional method of communication.
That is to use pigeons to send messages.
One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reaches to Banta it is without message.
Banta picked his mobile and asked Santa what is this joke?
The pigeon is without message.
Then Santa said Arre Banta that was a missed call
**************************
NAPOLEAN: "In my Dictionary there is no word called 'IMPOSSIBLE'....

Sardarji: "What's the use of saying it now, you should have checked it before buying THE DICTIONARY !!
**************************

Clock

Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day. As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son. But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father-in-law to write "the watch has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born. The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl. Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do.. If he writes "the watch has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son. If he writes " watchhas not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened. But being a very intelligent person,he finds a solution and sends the telegram. Santa received the telegram, opened it eagerly and reads "The watch has arrived, but the pendulum is missing".

Sardar Jokes 2

A sardar went to STD shop.
and slapped the owner twice.
WHY??
"Dial karne se pahle 2 lagayiye"
it's written there.
***********************

Two sardars bought 2 horses.
They couldnt distinguish between them
so one guy cut the left ear of a horse.
Tht night their combined enemy came and cut the left ear of other horse also
Again right ear.
Like tht both horses lost
ears,
tail,
eyes,
even 3 legs.
When forth leg also cut,
enemy cut forth leg of other also.
Again next morning same confusion.
Then they think a lot.
and finally one guy got an idea.
Can u tell me wht it may be?
Then they thought a lot
and finally one person said
"Ok this problem wont get solved like this.
From now.
U take white one. i will take black one."
********************

A sardar proposed to a lady.
she said "bring me crocodile shoes, i will marry u"
he went to Africa.
After some yrs, His frnds and relatives started searching him.
Finally found him in Africa fighting with a crocodile.
They got scared and watching from distance.
Finally he killed it and saw it's feet.
and said "79th, again bare foot"
and left it and went searching for another one.
********************

A sardar taking rest in a beach
then a person came to him and asked "R u relaxing?"
he said "no, i am Gulab singh"
he left and some other also asked same way.
so he got vexed and started going to change the place.
while going, he saw a person sat there.
he asked tht person "R u relaxing?"
he said "yes i am relaxing"
then sardar slapped him and said
"there every body searching for u. u r taking rest here?"
*************************

Koun Bhanega Carorepathi
Sardar went to participate
Amithabh said "If u answer 5 questions, You can take 10,000Rs and ............"
First question is
"Whts the capital of A.P"?
Sardar said "Hyderabad"
"R U sure?"
"Yes"
"Pakka?"
"Yes"
"Confidant?"
"Yes"
"Lock kar dhiya jai?"
"Yes"
"Right answer. You got 1000Rs"
"Hey dont cheat. you asked 5 questions already. 10000 Nikaal"
***********************

American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
***********************

Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
***********************

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
***********************

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
***********************

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
***********************

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more

***********************
Q: Aapko garmi lage tho aap kya karthe hai?
sardar: cooler ke samne bait jatha hoon?
Q: phir bhi garmi lage tho
sardar: cooler on kar letha hoon
***********************

Santa came to Chennai and wanted to do shopping in Burma Bazaar. His Tamilian friend told him that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price .
Santa went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.
Santa asked for Rs.1000.
The vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Santa told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs for which Santa bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said "I will give you the stereo free of cost."
Santa asked "Will you give two?"
***********************

There were 4 Sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.
They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel.
They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer.
The Sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up.
The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.
They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 Sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their Garage.
They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
***********************

A sardar always calls his wife as "dear, darling, sweet heart, jaanu" like that.
Why?
B'se he forgot her name.
***********************

sardar says "i saw my wife going to movie with a strange man"..his friend asks "didnt u follow then?"
sardar says "oye nahi yaar saala meri wife ko movie le gaya jo mei pehle dekh chuka tha.........."
***********************

Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of "Yes/No" type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approached him and asks what is going on.
Santa replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."
***********************

first sardar says i kiss my wife everyday bfore i go to office
second says i kiss ur wife everyday after u go to office
other says no no i only kissed first
***********************

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
***********************

Pakistani, Bangladeshi and OUR Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air,
pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink
from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws
his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't
need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his
glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the
Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi that we don't
need to drink with the same ones twice."
Balle balle !!!!
***********************

Santa Sigh photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all
relatives beat him why? He said "SMILE PLEASE
***********************

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days.
 Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell,
but no one comes out.
***********************

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
***********************

Ek sardar paani pee raha tha,..
ab sardar paani bhi nahi pee sakta kya,
usme bhi joke chahiye ?

Sardar Jokes

Interviewer:
what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

 Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my
wife? Sit behind. I will drive.

Interviewer: just imagine youare on the3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Sardar Was Asked To Explain In English ?  “Dukh Hamesha sath Rehta Hai Magr Khushi Aati Jati Rehti Hai”

Sardar:  My Wife Is With Me but Her sister Comes & Goes!